Pics and a little bit about the past month

This is a pic of us on Thanksgiving Day...isn't he a cutie???
Shortly before Christmas, we moved in with him. It's been awesome! It's a good feeling to come home to someone after work, whom appreciates you, your hugs & kisses, your cooking and cleaning and someone to sit & relax with.

This is us on New Years Eve! (I got him that shirt for Christmas) We celebrated at a lil bar called Twisters. We had an awesome time and it was so wonderful to bring in the new year with someone so wonderful. We slow danced a couple of times and chatted to friends. Oh, he picked me up once off my seat and danced holding me off the ground...he's so silly! :)

January has been an adventure in itself. We found out we were expecting, only to survive a miscarriage shortly after. That dream was so short lived. It's been a rollercoaster of emotions for both of us. I am still struggling with the loss, probably a little more than I think I am. Women are so much more stronger than I ever thought...a loss is a loss and a baby is a baby, no matter how small. I loved my baby, even at 6 weeks. My heart aches for the little baby I will never know or hold or see or smell. I ache for all the hopes I already had for this baby. I ache at the thought that there are no pictures or name to give this baby. God had his reasons and I understand that but I still wonder why...why...why...

~My Angel was too beautiful for Earth~

Since the loss, we have discussed marriage. To do this right...get married, then have a baby. It scares me to think about trying again. Being Rh negative can cause multiple issues and multiple miscarriages. I pray for a healthy baby, that's all...when God's ready!

~Our Story~

I wanted to share our love story with you, so here it goes. Let me start off saying that I was in a relationship during the past year and half. It was an unstable and very unhealthy relationship...complete with screaming fights, lies, constant arguements, heartbreak and a few breakups. During one of these breakups, I met Ronnie in May of 2011.

Unfortunately, I cannot say we have been together since we met. I fell into the drama of my previous relationship and went back, not once to try to make it work, but twice...Ronnie was there by my side through it all. Until the last time I went back in August, Ronnie decided he couldn't be my "band-aid" anymore. At the time I didn't see it like that but I now understand.

Throught the grafe of God, my ex & I broke up for good in November. I can only attribute my getting out of that relationship to God, for He kept me strong and finally showed me there was something better for me out there. I had already found that something better but I was fighting against God's will...but I finally really heard God speak to me.

About a week after my breakup, I sent Ronnie a message on Facebook apologizing for hurting him and misleading him. I didn't know if he would ever speak to me, but he did...he replied. Over the next 24 hrs, we talked about things and I asked him for forgiveness. I decided we needed to talk in person and he invited me to his place. He hugged me when I got there (I knew then that I still may have a chance with this wonderful man that God brought into my life). We hung out that night with some of his friends and let me tell ya, it was like we had been together for years!

I knew the chemistry was still there from the first time we met and we both could feel it. So, we talked some more and we decided we would try to make this work. Neither of us could be just friends, our hearts were already in it!

The past month

The past month has been so exiting and wonderful. I put my guard down and I am so happy I did. Although there are times I get a little afraid that history will repeat itself, I remind myself that this one is different...and so much better than the last one. So, this past month this is what's happened...

1. I apologized to the sweetest guy I know. I hurt him badly and I felt horrible.
2. We talked and he invited me over so we could discuss things. We went out that night with some of his friends. Had a great time, always have with him!
3. We spent Thanksgiving together with my bestie.
4. This sweet guy reminded me how beautiful I was, he also reminded me how much I cared for him, even when I tried to deny it months earlier...we both felt it and thankfully, it never went away.
5. This sweet guy seems to be a wonderful communicator...everything flows so natural with him.
6. He has my little girl wrapped around his finger...she adores him and loves him...and he loves her.
7. I met his daughter finally, what a sweetheart!
8. We realized our daughters are quite the little divas but we love them regardless.
9. He and I have spent soooo much time together, I don't ever want it to end. Plus I have gained some wonderful friends thanks to him.
10. I learned that he and I are very much alike...we play, we talk, we go out and have fun.
11. He is the best kisser ever. Just wait til I post a pic...look at those sexy lips!
12. I really do love tall men! He is 6'1"...I am only 5'1"...lol
13. We told each other the best 3 words ever "I love you".
14. We make plans...not too advanced but we have a general idea about how we will spend our days.
15. We have discussed one day of us living together, marriage, and growing our family if God allows.
16. This sweet guy became my boyfriend.
17. He cooks for me...
18. He holds me and rubs my legs...
19. He watches movies I like...
20. He is...heaven sent....thank you God!

Taking a chance...

Taking a chance on love is scary and exciting. You know you want to be happy and you would do anything to get to that place. I am ready...I am ready to fall in love again.

I know it's been a short time since my break-up but I feel it in my heart. I feel that this is right and this is a good thing. I have been mislead for the past year and a half and I have let that pain go. Although he will always have a place in my heart, I learned loving him was killing me. Sometimes things fall apart so better things can fall together. I believe that now.

I am ready to feel love again. Real love from a man that wants to be with me, that desires me. A man that cannot keep his hands nor his eyes off of me. A man that will hold me close against his chest so I can feel his heartbeat. A man that shows me he will do anything to help me. A man that tells me he will do anything for me. A man that is willing to help heal the hurt from the last guy. A man that can keep his promises. A man that loves me. A man that loves my little girl.

Oh I tried to be so angry when things fell apart, but there was this one man who loved me. This man wants to show me what real love is. This man wants to show me not all men are the same. This man wants to be there for me no matter what. This man, God thank you, for sending this man into my life. This man is so good to me already. I don't know what I have done to deserve such compassion and romance and love! But I am thankful I have found a GOOD man and without a bad one, I wouldn't have learned what a good man is!!!

What really matters...

It's been over a week since my last post, and I'm not sure why I've waited to write. KeKe started school on Sept. 1st, my lil girl is in SCHOOL!!! How is it that time has slipped away so silently and now she is a Kindergartener?! I guess I should be happy she enjoys school so far, she has already made a little "boyfriend" named Caleb. She has literally talked about this boy since day 1 and I'm pretty sure her crush on him is mutual as they talk everyday and have lunch together. lol...its so cute to hear her excitement about how her day was and who she hung out with and then there is usually some talk about the "mean boy" named Julian. Julian is jealous of Caleb. Julian also puts his arm around KeKe and will sit between KeKe and Caleb when they sit next to one another...aww I think this Julian has a thing for my girl! I think KeKe enjoys the attention!!!

Pics of the Week

This is a pic of KeKe last Wednesday at her Kindergarten orientation! Where does the time go?! She starts Kindergarten tomorrow. I'm more nervous than she is! lol